10/06: Cordless Jump Rope

What has America come to? Today a man was awarded a patent for an invention that introduces laziness to one of the oldest American pastimes: the jump rope. Why jump up and down while trying to dodge a flying tripwire when you can just jump while pretending that the wire's there? That way, everyone's a winner, not just the coordinated.

To paraphrase the article, you might as well pretend you're jumping, too, so you don't get tired out. Then you can pretend jump over a pretend rope, building up pretend coordination and getting pretend exercise. While you're doing this, your friends will see you out in your front yard, just standing there, holding a funny looking handle in each hand. They will see and be inspired to be more athletic, like you...

Read the full article on Man awarded patent for cordless jump rope.

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